Jokes and humour

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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby ChrisJHC » Tue 06 Mar, 2018 3:11 pm

A long time ago I was hiking with a mate when he got bitten in the groin by a snake.

I hiked back to the nearest phone, rang 000 and asked them what to do.

They said to make a small cut in the shape of an "X".
They then said to suck the poison out or he would die (this was a long time ago).

I hiked back to my mate and he said "What did they say?"

I responded "They said you're going to die".
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Tue 06 Mar, 2018 3:54 pm

I'm fine too! LOL.
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby ribuck » Tue 06 Mar, 2018 5:42 pm

Alternative ending:

A long time ago I was hiking with a mate when he got bitten in the groin by a snake.

I hiked back to the nearest phone, rang 000 and asked them what to do.

They said to make a small cut in the shape of an "X".
They then said to suck the poison out or he would die (this was a long time ago).

I hiked back to my mate and he said "What did they say?"...

...I responded: "They said I have to cut an "X" in your groin and suck it".

"Actually", my mate replied, "I think I'm fine".
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby GBW » Thu 08 Mar, 2018 6:36 pm

t-rex: aye look a shooting star make a wish
raptor: I wish I was dead
t-rex: lmao
t-rex:
t-rex:
t-rex: aye that sh*t looks kinda close dont it
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Sat 24 Mar, 2018 1:14 pm

Easter eggs.jpeg
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Yoga.jpeg
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Moondog55 » Sat 24 Mar, 2018 1:30 pm

I was thinking of chocolate coated Brussells Sprouts
Ve are too soon old und too late schmart
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Mon 26 Mar, 2018 7:41 am

Worms.jpg
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I was having a stroll through the Cemetery yesterday when I came across some council workers digging up a grave.
Being the nosy parker I am, I went over and said, "What's going on?"
The bloke in the hole said, "We're exhuming this body."
"Oh, is it part of some ongoing murder investigation?" I asked.
"No," he replied, "Centrelink have deemed him fit for work!"
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Wed 30 May, 2018 6:42 pm

Song of Joyce

Come, sing a song of Joyce,
He is hypocritical.
Song, sing a song of Joyce,
For he is political.

Once he was second from top,
Turnbull's right hand man.
No longer there
Now he is free
Begging with hands before him.

Reach out and take new love,
A new love that lasts eternal.
Forever more.
Then sing a song of Joyce,
Mistress is now his partner.

Come, sing a song of Joyce
Media income story.
Sing, sing a song of Joyce,
Barnaby in his glory.

One mighty act that will last,
His dark sordid past,
Forever more.
Then sing a song of Joyce,
For love and understanding.

Come, sing a song of Joyce
Media income story.
Sing, sing a song of Joyce,
Barnaby in his glory.

One mighty act that will last,
A dark sordid past,
Forever more.
Then sing a song of Joyce,
For love and understanding.

Come, sing a song of Joyce
Barnaby in his glory.
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