Jokes and humour

For topics unrelated to bush walking or to the forums.

Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Sun 10 Oct, 2021 5:19 pm

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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby GBW » Fri 19 Nov, 2021 7:07 am

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"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe"
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby GPSGuided » Fri 26 Nov, 2021 11:45 pm

Target, bushwalkers with boots!

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Just move it!
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Son of a Beach » Mon 29 Nov, 2021 9:59 am

ooh, that one's a bit below the belt!
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Moondog55 » Wed 01 Dec, 2021 7:01 am

Did you hear about the ultralight aircraft that crashed into an Irish churchyard?
So far they've recovered 134 bodies
Ve are too soon old und too late schmart
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Mon 06 Dec, 2021 6:22 am

It's been months since I bought the book "How to Scam People Online." It still hasn't arrived.
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Moondog55 » Sat 15 Jan, 2022 12:00 pm

I have a big party planned for my next birthday, I' tentatively ordered a tonne of redgum charcoal and a full yearling Black Angus dressed for spit-roasting. Unfortunately after a few major financial setbacks and unexpected expenditures it seems I can't afford that anymore so I guess it will be BBQ sausages in cheap white bread. Yes that's right, I hoped for the beast but planning for the wurst
Ve are too soon old und too late schmart
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby vagrom » Thu 10 Mar, 2022 7:05 pm

This guy relates about someone who was stung by a bee while playing golf.

"Where were you stung?" he asked.

"Between the first and second hole" they replied.

Shocked, he exclaimed: "Gee, you must have a wide stance !"
Nature is never spent.
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Fri 11 Mar, 2022 3:36 pm

Starbucks has decided to punish Russia by keeping all their stores open.

Meanwhile, McDonalds have shut down all of theirs. Russia is officially in the "no fry zone".

After streaming services ended their Russian offerings, the locals are now watching 'Nyetflix'.
How many Russians does it take to conquer Ukraine? It's okay, Putin doesn't know either.

A Moscow man buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, and throws it away. Next day and the day after he does the same thing. Eventually the seller asks, "Why do you do that?"
The bloke replies, "I'm just checking for an obituary."
"But obituaries aren't on the front page."
"The one I'm looking for will be."
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Mon 14 Mar, 2022 6:38 am

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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby GBW » Tue 15 Mar, 2022 12:26 pm

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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby wildwanderer » Tue 22 Mar, 2022 10:48 pm

oh how I love this thread :lol: :lol:
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Wed 23 Mar, 2022 8:18 am

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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Tortoise » Sat 14 May, 2022 9:34 am

The main purpose of the little toe is to make sure all the furniture is in place.
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Aardvark » Sat 14 May, 2022 9:55 am

The definition of a Shin : A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Ever on the search for a one ended stick.
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Tortoise » Sat 14 May, 2022 10:44 am

It's weird being the same age as old people.
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Re: Jokes and humour

Postby Lophophaps » Sat 14 May, 2022 5:11 pm

I don't mind being old as long as my all terrain walking frame with track drive can get me on longer days - over 3 kilometres - in a decent time.
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